Why Rebel?
Your Day. Your Way.
There is an intrinsic rebellion in choosing a humanist ceremony. We’ll politely be asking convention, expectation and “normal” to step to one side, and instead consider what would make your ceremony truly representative of you. As I see it, any act that allows us as humans to be unapologetically, joyfully and completely ourselves is rebellious. A humanist ceremony is the ultimate gentle rebellion.
It’s easy to assume that all of the moments we’ve seen countless times in films and tv shows have to be there (eg. being given away, ring exchanges, kissing the bride…). Of course, you can choose to have these moments if they chime with you, but you don’t have to. We can think about how you want your ceremony to feel, what you want to say about your life together as a couple, and get creative with how you choose to express it.
In doing this, you’ll be declaring to your nearest and dearest (and, most importantly, to each other) that your love is unique, full of intention and grounded in what’s most important to you both, rather than fitting in to a set format or being limited to “one-size-fits-all” wording in your ceremony.
What’s Humanism?
If you don’t currently consider yourself a humanist, don’t panic. People choose humanist ceremonies for lots of different reasons - here’s a brief summary of what it’s all about.
Humanism is an approach to life that advocates for human beings to be able to live full, rich, joyful lives, in a way that’s meaningful to each individual. This means fighting for a world that is inclusive of all that makes us unique, never loses sight of our shared humanity and one that enables us to live empathetic, informed, loving, bold, bright lives.
Humanism is secular - it asks that we take care of each other, not in order to please a deity or set ourselves up for a stellar afterlife but, because that in itself is a worthwhile pursuit for our time on earth.
There’s room in humanist ceremonies to embrace and honour all the diversity and complexity of our lives as humans, in full acknowledgement (and delight) that this will be different for everyone.
What your ceremony could include…
Music
Nothing sets the tone quite like music. Whether you’re looking for a soaring romantic soundtrack or raucous communal sing-song, we’ll explore how music can be used from start to finish.
Symbolic Moments
Symbolic or ritual moments can really bring the values and intentions in your ceremony to life. Ring exchanges, hand-fasting, lighting unity candles, toasting a can of your favourite craft beer...all become meaningful markers.
Readings
Sometimes someone else has been able to put into words exactly how you feel. Poetry, prose, song lyrics, script excerpts are all potential sources of inspiration!
Vows or Promises
You have absolute freedom when it comes to your vows. They can be light-hearted, fun-filled, romantic, reverential or a combination of all of the above. We can lean on some familiar structures for inspiration, or they can be totally original.
Guest Participation…
You can involve your guests as much or as little as you like in the ceremony. Select people can perform readings, or support with symbolic moments, or you could include everyone in a song or collective declaration of support.
My Approach
I take it as a HUGE privilege that I get to be alongside couples as they prepare to take this step in their lives. It’s taken me a winding road through the arts and charity sectors to find my true vocation. As such, I’ll be bringing plenty of my own intention and thought to the process. Here’s a little of what to expect when you work with me…
A bucket-load of warmth
When the ceremony rolls around, I want you to feel you have a pal standing beside you. It can be an emotional time and I will be there in the run up and on the day to help you stay rooted in the delight, joy and love that underpins it all.
Endless curiosity
The ceremony script will emerge through getting to know you (really know you, waaaay beyond small talk!) so I’ll be asking you plenty of questions in our time together. It’s not always easy putting things into words, but we’ll go gently, at a pace that suits you.
An open mind
Have ideas already about your ceremony? Brilliant! The magic moments happen when we really collaborate - I’ll be there to guide you, but never to get in the way of the day you want.
Creativity
I have a background in theatre and love a chance to come up with creative ways to support people to express their love. This will come through in the unique words we choose for your script, but could also mean personalised ritual moments, chances for your guests (and pets…) to be integrated into the ceremony, music suggestions, poetry ideas, romantic surprises, support writing your original vows to each other…the list goes on!
An eye on the environment
I’m doing my best to make my contribution to your ceremony as free of harm to the environment as possible. This means taking public transport and reducing printing as much as possible, as well as looking at sustainable, ethical suppliers for my own materials. My ceremony outfits are all second-hand or vintage, and I’m always open to suggestions about what I can be doing to take better care of our planet.